It’s never easy to end a friendship. Especially if you’ve known each other for a while. But the truth is, that sometimes people drift apart. Relationships that used to be mutually beneficial can start feeling a little one sided. And that’s ok.
Friendships, just like romantic relationships, can run their course. We can still be thankful for the time we spent with that person and the lessons we learned.
Sometimes it can be difficult to know whether or not it’s time to let go of friendships, so here’s a few signs that it might be time to move on.
You Feel Worse When You’re Around Them
No one is expected to be a rey of sunshine 365 days of the year (especially this year), but if your friendship is making you feel more depressed, negative, gossipy or generally sad, then that may be a red flag.
Friends should make you feel happier. They should bring you joy and, even in the hard times, you should WANT to be around them.
If someone is focusing on the negative all the time and doesn’t seem to want to grow, no matter how much advice or support you give them, their friendship probably feels more like a chore than an uplifting experience.
Take note of how you feel after hanging out. Are you happy you saw them or relieved they’re gone?
They Focus On Your Mistakes
We all make mistakes and sometimes we may even hurt our friends in the process, but as long as we are willing to make amends and grow from the experience, we can come out the other side stronger than ever.
If a friend constantly brings up mistakes you made or something you did in the past, they’re obviously not ready to move on. Or they want to keep focusing on the past so they have the upper hand.
Whatever the reason, it’s not healthy to stay in a relationship that constantly focuses on the things you’ve done wrong.
That’s not to say that you shouldn’t apologize or talk things over when you screw up. You need to take responsibility for your actions, but if they can’t forgive you after some time has passed, the friendship may have run its course.
You Do All the Work
I think we’ve all had at least one of these friendships in our lives.
You’re always the person to reach out to see if they want to hang out. You reschedule when they cancel last minute. You make excuses for them when they don’t show up to your birthday.
You’re constantly boosting their ego, making sure they’re ok and putting their comfort before your own…and yet you get nothing in return…
Are you their friend or their personal assistant? Enough said.
You Can’t Be Yourself
If you feel like you have to put on a certain persona to be around this person, or that they may not accept you if they truly knew you; that could be a sign that it’s time to let go.
Your friends should be a safe haven where you can embody who you truly are. Society asks us to fit into enough boxes already, our friends shouldn’t do the same.
If you’re afraid to look stupid or that they’ll find out who you REALLY are and stop being your friend, it might be time to find people who accept ALL of you.
They Don’t Support You
This one hurts.
When your friends make fun of your dreams and your goals, that’s a big red flag. They should be on your team 100%.
You need friends who cheer you on when you make big career decisions or decide to move across the country or you want to start knitting.
That doesn’t mean they won’t call you out if they feel like what you’re doing is wrong or unhealthy. But it does mean that they have your back when you need them.
You deserve friends who want you to succeed.
You’re Thinking of Someone Right Now
The number one sign that it’s time to let a friendship go is if you’ve had someone in mind while reading this.
If you opened this article looking for reasons to end a friendship with someone, it’s time to say goodbye.
Some friendships may require a break up talk, if they’re someone who is very much ingrained in your life. Others you can allow to slowly peter out, if they’re more of an acquaintance. Either way, it’s never easy. But you deserve powerful, joyful, supportive and loving friendships. You both do. And there’s someone out there who is the perfect friend for each of you.
Jennifer Doan is a sex educator, coach and the host of the podcast Taking Back Slut. Jennifer is committed to helping people connect to their sexual power in a way that feels safe and comfortable to them. Connect with her on Instagram @jenn_doan for sex rants and unapologetic nudes.